Stoic quotes for stress
Stress usually comes from two places: what is happening, and what we tell ourselves about it. The Stoics worked on the second, because it is the one within reach. Read a few of these lines, then try the 60-second reset below.
Pick a voice with the Gentle / Tough love buttons at the top. Both versions are on this page.
Quotes
There are more things, Lucilius, likely to frighten us than there are to crush us; we suffer more often in imagination than in reality.
The best-known line on anxiety in Stoic writing, and its source. Seneca is writing to a worried friend and says this in his “milder” style, not as a rule.
Men are disturbed not by the things which happen, but by the opinions about the things.
Events do not disturb us by themselves; our opinions about them do. This line is often shortened. This is the full wording in George Long’s translation.
If thou art pained by any external thing, it is not this thing that disturbs thee, but thy own judgment about it. And it is in thy power to wipe out this judgment now.
It is not the outside thing that is disturbing you but your judgment about it, and a judgment can be revised right now. It does not say the situation is fine; it says the part you can change is your view of it.
Be like the promontory against which the waves continually break, but it stands firm and tames the fury of the water around it.
Waves keep coming and the rock does not move. You cannot stop the waves; you can choose to be the rock.
Of things some are in our power, and others are not.
The first line of Epictetus’s handbook and the heart of Stoicism: some things are up to you and some are not. Sort them first, then spend your effort on the first group.
It is in thy power whenever thou shalt choose to retire into thyself. For nowhere either with more quiet or more freedom from trouble does a man retire than into his own soul.
You do not need a cabin or a holiday to get away from it all. A quiet place is available inside you, whenever you choose to turn toward it. It is a rest stop, not a place to hide forever.
In plain words
Gentle
Your body is treating a problem like an emergency, and that is a normal thing for a body to do. Before you try to sort anything out, slow your breathing; it is hard to think clearly while your heart is racing. Then separate what is real from what is “what if”. Some of your stress has a next step. Some of it is noise. You do not have to fix everything today. You only have to find the next small thing.
Tough love
Sort it or drop it. Worrying feels like work but it is not work. Take five minutes, write down every stressor, and mark each one “mine to act on” or “not mine”. The first group gets one concrete step today. The second group gets nothing from you except a decision to stop paying for it. Then do the first step, even if it is small and you do not feel like it.
The 60-second reset
- Breathe out slowly, longer than you breathe in, five times in a row.
- Name one thing in this situation that is within your control.
- Do that one thing now, or write it down as your first step.
Flash cards to repeat
Flip each card, then use “Repeat mode” to cycle through them, or “Read aloud” to hear them. Hearing or reading the same few lines again and again is the point.
- Of things some are in our power, and others are not.Epictetus, Enchiridion I
Gentle: Which parts of this are about your effort and choices, and which depend on other people’s reactions? Start with the first.
Tough love: Circle what is yours. Act on that today. Stop spending energy on the rest.
- There are more things, Lucilius, likely to frighten us than there are to crush us; we suffer more often in imagination than in reality.Seneca, Letter 13, §4 (On groundless fears)
Gentle: Is this a fact or a prediction? Name the most likely outcome, not only the scariest one.
Tough love: You are negotiating with a future that has not happened. Write down the facts and ignore the movie.
- Be like the promontory against which the waves continually break, but it stands firm and tames the fury of the water around it.Marcus Aurelius, Meditations IV.49
Gentle: The waves will keep coming. You do not have to stop them, only stay steady.
Tough love: Stop trying to calm the sea. Be the rock.
- What is the next smallest step?
Gentle: Pick something that takes under five minutes. Starting counts.
Tough love: Do it now. Then the next one.
- If thou art pained by any external thing, it is not this thing that disturbs thee, but thy own judgment about it. And it is in thy power to wipe out this judgment now.Marcus Aurelius, Meditations VIII.47
Gentle: What judgment are you adding on top of this? You can set it down.
Tough love: The thing is not hurting you. Your verdict about it is. Change the verdict.
Sounds to sit with
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Books for this feeling
- Stoic primary text
Letters from a Stoic
Seneca (translated by Robin Campbell)Seneca's letters to a younger friend on fear, grief, time and friendship. Short, warm, and surprisingly modern. A good first Stoic book.
Find it on Bookshop.org - Modern introduction
A Guide to the Good Life
William B. IrvineA practical, readable introduction to Stoic techniques for ordinary life, written by a philosophy professor.
Find it on Bookshop.org - Psychology
Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy
David D. BurnsA classic on cognitive behavioural therapy, the modern approach most similar to Stoic thinking about thoughts and feelings.
Find it on Bookshop.org
Questions
Is Stoicism good for stress?
It offers habits of thought, such as separating what is in your control from what is not, that overlap with parts of modern talk therapy such as CBT. It is not a treatment. If stress is affecting your sleep, work or relationships for weeks, talk to a doctor or licensed therapist.
What is the dichotomy of control?
It is the modern name for the opening of Epictetus’s handbook: some things are up to us (our judgments, choices and effort) and some are not (other people’s reactions, outcomes, the past). Stoic practice starts by sorting which is which.
Related feelings
This page offers philosophy and reflection, not therapy or medical advice. If you are in crisis or thinking about hurting yourself, call or text 988 (US) or call 911 in an emergency. More help. Quotes are from public-domain translations and are checked against the source. How we verify.